*Spoilers* My Episode VII Review

Posted in Nerdy Stuff on December 21, 2015 by yujinishuge
I have Bashically Darsh Vader, but coooler, wish a 7D hiwted lightshaber, and he's a ninja, and he can kill you with his mind!

I have Bashically Darsh Vader, but coooler, wish a 7D hiwted lightshaber, and he’s a ninja, and he can kill you with his mind!

Okay so I’m coming out of blogger retirement to talk about this film, and once again, I want to explain that there are spoilers in this review, so go away if you don’t want the film spoiled for you. Continue reading

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Epic Rap Battle?

Posted in Jokes, Korea, Nerdy Stuff on July 22, 2015 by yujinishuge

Roboseyo wrote on his facebook wall:

 

“I want to lock the author of this article
(A Korea Times article written by a Korean who does nothing but generalize foreigners despite meeting so many on a regular basis)

In a room with the author of this article.
(A Korea Observer article written by a white woman who does nothing but generalize Koreans despite living in Korea for 10 years)

they deserve each other”

I then got the idea for an epic rap battle between them and wrote it in the comments.

Eeeeeeepic rap battles of History! Shi-yong the Difference Pointer Outer VS. Laura the Not Russian Prostitute! Begin!

(Shi-yong)
Check it out yall cuz I’m Korean.
I spit about foreign stuff that I been seein’
Ya’ll foreigners drink and you smoke and you cuss
But you ain’t never gonna be as 18 dope like us.

You say we say “Mine mine” but your soldiers are here
Sell your beef, FTA, take our girls, slow-drink beer
Said we got No manners but too much manners in speech
That’s contradictory, and you’re a basic shawty beach-goer

The beauty of the minjok is all I know
I learned this slang from a waeg so GTFO
Yall people need to learn that Korea’s the shit,
Our 5000 year old culture is 2 legit to quit.

(Laura)
Spit a verse? Please, y’all only spit in the street.
And you don’t cover your mouth or your nose when you sneeze.

Let me tell you all about why I hate Korea.
I been here 10 years so I see what you don’t see-a.

Koreans are so rude and Koreans are so selfish.
And you don’t know how to drive, and you’re short like you’re elfish.
You don’t understand a thing about us ppl from the west
Be like, “Critical thiking, pssh why bother? My people are the best!”

Now comes the part where you misspoke.
The minjok is the people’s joke.
Let’s be clear I’m an expert, I’ve lived here 10 years.
Where you observe Hollywood and repeat sayings of your peers.

The Korea Times Will Print Anything

Posted in Korea, Senseless Griping, Shaking my head on June 16, 2015 by yujinishuge

Over the years, some of the opinion pieces that appear in the Korea times have baffled me.  The first one I think I really noticed was a piece explaining social media jargon, with tons of outdated or irrelevant slang. My friends and I had a good chuckle over that one.

But see, I don’t read the Korea Times regularly, and these days I only take notice of something published there if it goes semi-viral in facebook.

So that is why we have these:

A food blogger complaining that Koreans are ruining her experience in the foreign enclave by…. being Korean.

A Korean man who has finally solved the age old question of how Koreans and foreigners are different!

Now that is not to say that these are invalid opinions, but honestly I wish the Korea Times would screen what they publish. Most of this stuff would be appropriate on a personal blog… like this one.

I’m going to add more of these as often as I find them.

Old Korean Man Parrots Colonial Era Japanese Propaganda to Suggest Removal of Comfort Woman Statue

This is a good song

Posted in Uncategorized on March 25, 2015 by yujinishuge

 

So one day when I was riding the bus this song came on. I checked the radio station’s website to find out what the song was.

 

It was the first time I’d ever heard of this artist, but I found the song so moving and I kept thinking…. as great as K-pop is… the “Korean Wave” is shortchanging a whole swathe of Korea’s music culture by not marketing stuff like this.

All of Final Fantasy Takes Place on the Exact Same Planet!

Posted in Uncategorized on January 29, 2015 by yujinishuge

Before you read this through I will add a disclaimer that I don’t have any control over the official story of the Final Fantasy series, so this really just amounts to elaborate fan fiction and some really desperate attempts to link together games that are similar but can’t likely be related.

 

With this guide, I will attempt to show how all the Final Fantasies are on the same planet. This will explain:

1. Why topography of the planet is different between games even if they are on the same planet.

2. Why the Gysahl greens are called such even though there is no town called Gysahl in most games.

3. Why multiple different towns called Mysidia were built.

4. How Cid in each game is in fact the same person.

5. Why crystals are so important to the series.

6. Why the character classes are largely consistent through each game.

 

How will I do this? Time Travel!!!!  Read on after the jump!

 

Continue reading

Taxi driver confessions?

Posted in Uncategorized on December 5, 2014 by yujinishuge

There was once a show on cable TV where taxi drivers in New York had conversations with their passengers and they stuck a hidden camera in the cab so they could get all the drama. It didn’t last long and it was mocked mercilessly by SNL.

But I only bring it up because last night I had an experience where the driver seems to have let me in on a big secret.

 

They're orange, not yellow in Korea.

They’re orange, not yellow in Korea.

I took a cab home along a route that normally takes about 15 minutes, and by cab would cost around 5000 won.

But that’s not what happened. As we got onto the Gangbyeon expressway the cars were only inching along. I thought nothing of it at first. It was rush hour afterall.

But this wasn’t rush hour traffic. This was like, Walking Dead we have to get out of Atlanta traffic. It was Everybody Hurts so let’s all get out of our cars and abandon them on the freeway traffic (for the young or very old, that’s a reference to an R.E.M. music video).


As we moved onward and onward as the snail does, it became apparent that there was an accident ahead. Only that would explain why we were barely moving, and why I would likely be paying more than double.

The driver turns on the radio to listen to traffic updates. It’s confirmed. There’s an accident. I start thinking of other terrible car accidents I’ve seen the aftermath of. The one where the VW bug was upside down; the one where two old ladies were trapped and it looked like EMT was struggling to get them free AND attend to their medical needs; and the one where both cars were ablaze.

But suddenly my reminiscence was interrupted as the cabby begins honking rolls down his window and shouts out probably the most profanity laden tirade I’ve ever heard. It had the 18s, the dog babies, their mother, and probably things I have yet to learn.

“What’s going on?,” I say as I look out the window. We drive by 2 demure ladies who have had a fender bender in the middle lane of traffic on the expressway and simply stopped in the center lane instead of driving to the side or off the freeway. One could hear their conversation. “What should we do? What should we do? One was crying and the other wafting her hands over her face in that annoying motion that accompanies crying and not wanting to ruin makeup.

As we passed, people stopped rubbernecking and traffic began to flow normally.

The driver was still mid tirade when I said, “sir, it’s okay. Those people were thinking only of themselves. That’s why they didn’t consider everyone behind them. ”

And he said “No, it’s because they are Korean, and Koreans are rotten.”

He hits the meter saying he can’t in good conscience make me pay more than what the meter had already run up. We were still only halfway home.

I retorted, “surely not all Koreans are rotten.”

“Trust me, I’m Korean. Enough of us are rotten and our society is going to fall apart.”

He then started talking about how Japanese didn’t loot or fight in the aftermath of the Fukushima disaster and were very orderly and most survivors made out alright.

“If that happened in Korea,” he said “You’d see robbery, killing, and prostitution over cup ramen.”

“Well you’re not a rotten guy,” I countered. “You stopped the meter.”

He agrees, but then admits he was contributing to the traffic jam by rolling down the window to scream at the two drivers and didn’t bother to call the police to come help out.

I got out of the cab in front of my apartment and gave the driver more than the fare. He tried to give change, but I tell him to keep it. Another lady gives me a dirty look as I’m gathering my stuff. She hops in and starts screaming at him to go somewhere.

Roaring Currents is a big letdown, and here’s why.

Posted in Korea, Nerdy Stuff, Senseless Griping, Shaking my head on August 13, 2014 by yujinishuge

poster
Okay, so it’s been a while, and I thank the people still subscribed to this blog for their continued attention. Today I am going to review a movie that is breaking box office records here in Korea. It’s called Myeongryang in Korean and Roaring Currents in English. The synopsis: During the Imjin War, (1592-1598), a Japanese fleet of more than 300 ships is invading Korea, and Admiral Yi Sun-shin has 12 ships with which to defend the country. It’s not a spoiler if I tell you that Yi was successful. That would be like saying the Titanic sunk in the film Titanic.  As such, Yi is a revered national hero in Korea, and very respected in Japan for his strategy that defeated the Japanese navy against overwhelming odds.

I love war movies, so I was really excited to see this, especially since it had been getting such rave reviews in the Korean media. Korean films that Korean moviegoers like are generally good films. Some of my favorite Korean war-genre films include Shilmido, Taegukki Brotherhood, and 71: Into The Fire. As far as other war films outside of Korea, I liked Platoon, All’s Quiet on the Western Front, Saving Private Ryan, Joyeux Noel, Full Metal Jacket, and Inglourious Basterds. I’ll get to what it is about these films that I really liked later. At the same time, there are war movies I don’t like.  I won’t name them here, but you can be sure they will appear later in my analysis.

So let’s get into my experience watching the film.
As my wife and I stepped into the theater I was in high anticipation of this film.  The theater was packed.  I had just watched Guardians of the Galaxy a few days earlier, and was fun as that was, I was in the mood for a real serious tension filled historical period film that would really deconstruct what happened centuries ago and let us know the motivations behind a historical hero I had been hearing about since childhood. Remember, this is a guy who has a prominent statue in downtown Seoul.

Remember, this is a guy who has a prominent statue in downtown Seoul.

Every time I walk by this statue, I think.. 'hey, possible Gramps!'

X: This is the Statue of Liberty of Korea.   Y: Stop saying that Korean things are the Korean version of foreign things.

So the movie starts, and Yi Sun-shin and his advisors are discussing the dire situation ahead of them. There’s one guy in there that looks sneaky and evil just from the way he looks and speaks. Everyone else is really handsome and noble looking, but this guy looks like he’d double cross his mother in a heartbeat. The movie just started, and I don’t know exactly who this person is, so it doesn’t register with me yet.

Then there’s a cut away to the Japanese side. They are discussing strategy. Immediately I burst out laughing.  Want to know why? I’ll explain after the jump.

 

Continue reading