Archive for the Jokes Category

Epic Rap Battle?

Posted in Jokes, Korea, Nerdy Stuff on July 22, 2015 by yujinishuge

Roboseyo wrote on his facebook wall:


“I want to lock the author of this article
(A Korea Times article written by a Korean who does nothing but generalize foreigners despite meeting so many on a regular basis)

In a room with the author of this article.
(A Korea Observer article written by a white woman who does nothing but generalize Koreans despite living in Korea for 10 years)

they deserve each other”

I then got the idea for an epic rap battle between them and wrote it in the comments.

Eeeeeeepic rap battles of History! Shi-yong the Difference Pointer Outer VS. Laura the Not Russian Prostitute! Begin!

Check it out yall cuz I’m Korean.
I spit about foreign stuff that I been seein’
Ya’ll foreigners drink and you smoke and you cuss
But you ain’t never gonna be as 18 dope like us.

You say we say “Mine mine” but your soldiers are here
Sell your beef, FTA, take our girls, slow-drink beer
Said we got No manners but too much manners in speech
That’s contradictory, and you’re a basic shawty beach-goer

The beauty of the minjok is all I know
I learned this slang from a waeg so GTFO
Yall people need to learn that Korea’s the shit,
Our 5000 year old culture is 2 legit to quit.

Spit a verse? Please, y’all only spit in the street.
And you don’t cover your mouth or your nose when you sneeze.

Let me tell you all about why I hate Korea.
I been here 10 years so I see what you don’t see-a.

Koreans are so rude and Koreans are so selfish.
And you don’t know how to drive, and you’re short like you’re elfish.
You don’t understand a thing about us ppl from the west
Be like, “Critical thiking, pssh why bother? My people are the best!”

Now comes the part where you misspoke.
The minjok is the people’s joke.
Let’s be clear I’m an expert, I’ve lived here 10 years.
Where you observe Hollywood and repeat sayings of your peers.


NEWS FLASH: I LIVE IN SOUTH KOREA: It may even be a separate country!

Posted in Jokes, Korea, Senseless Griping, Shaking my head on December 20, 2011 by yujinishuge

Image apparently shows the stark contrast between North and South Korea, though reports that north is in fact up on this map could not be verified.

Information indicating that Korea is a divided country has surfaced recently among the intelligence community. There are even rumors that South Korea, also known as the “Republic of Korea,” is actually run by a government that is almost totally separate from the government formerly headed by the late Kim Jong-Il. Apparently two governments resulted from the cold war division of the peninsula, with the southern government actually an ally of the United States.

Jesus Ramon Franco de Rodriguez, Director of the Spain’s CNI (Centro Nacional de Inteligencia) elaborated when questioned about the subject pointing out that the official name of North Korea is the “Ray Poob Lick Aw Pope Ooh Lar Day Moh Kra Tea Caw  Day Core Ay Ah.” But our Spanish translator told us that this is untranslatable gibberish. The director then switched into English, saying “They call it the DPRK… the Democratic… uh.. People’s Repubic…” Realizing that he didn’t know what he was talking about, because Democracy  means the good guys, we decided to explore this theory further.

After a visit to George Mason University in Washington DC, Maryland, we realized that there is even speculation among experts that the South fought alongside the U.S. in the Korean War, and that it would be inaccurate to suggest that the U.S. fought the war against “the Koreans”.

Major Sven Daniels, a graduate of the U.S. Military Academy and a war history professor at GMU explained that the war had Koreans on both sides, and that the North was actually aided by China. “We shouldn’t say we fought against the Koreans” he said, making the quotations gesture with his index and middle fingers, “It would be more correct to say that we fought the war against some Koreans, or more accurately, Communist forces that included the Chinese.”

A student aide appeared confused with that revelation, saying “Aren’t the Koreans basically Chinese? What difference does it make? They all look the same anyway.”

James Longley 82, of Newark, New York, who claims to be a  Korean War veteran, corroborates this story, explaining that the southern government had actually raised an army and was fighting against the north. “When I try to tell my grandchildren about it though,” he explains, “they don’t seem to understand. They see pictures of Kim Jong-Il on TV and they ask me how the Dear Leader came to power if we won the Vietnam War. I want to explain that I fought in Korea, and that the war ended in a ceasefire, and the Vietnam War was later, and we didn’t win in Vietnam, but my head just begins to hurt,” he said. “The grandkids quickly lose interest anyway, going to watch their Saxophone in the City concert or that American Eye Doll whosiwhatsit,” he added.

There is also a high probability that most Korean immigrants to the U.S. came from South Korea, though no known study exists to prove that the self-reported statistics collected in the census are indeed accurate.

With the recent death of Dear Leader Kim, a blogger living in Korea, using the pen name “Yujinishuge” explained that several of his acquaintances and several other unknown people who have sent him e-mail messages have expressed their concern over his well being, given that the country could erupt in revolution at any given moment.

“I live in South Korea! It isn’t the same as North Korea! People can’t easily move between the two countries!” he exclaimed, appearing annoyed by the questions. He began foaming at the mouth when we asked him if his father had emigrated to the U.S. from North or South Korea. Later, his head exploded when asked if his last name, legally spelled “Whong” was Chinese. No charges were filed in the incident.

Okay joke over.  I LIVE IN SOUTH KOREA AND IT IS A DIFFERENT COUNTRY THAN NORTH KOREA! Yes, I heard the news about Kim Jong Il, but honestly my life is almost exactly the same. I really wish some people would pick up a book every now and then, or at least watch M*A*S*H. I can’t believe the severe lack of news that reaches some people back home… you’d think they were living in North Korea or something.

More dumb jokes

Posted in Jokes on September 21, 2011 by yujinishuge

Why was the tall woman so noisy? Continue reading