NEWS FLASH: I LIVE IN SOUTH KOREA: It may even be a separate country!
Information indicating that Korea is a divided country has surfaced recently among the intelligence community. There are even rumors that South Korea, also known as the “Republic of Korea,” is actually run by a government that is almost totally separate from the government formerly headed by the late Kim Jong-Il. Apparently two governments resulted from the cold war division of the peninsula, with the southern government actually an ally of the United States.
Jesus Ramon Franco de Rodriguez, Director of the Spain’s CNI (Centro Nacional de Inteligencia) elaborated when questioned about the subject pointing out that the official name of North Korea is the “Ray Poob Lick Aw Pope Ooh Lar Day Moh Kra Tea Caw Day Core Ay Ah.” But our Spanish translator told us that this is untranslatable gibberish. The director then switched into English, saying “They call it the DPRK… the Democratic… uh.. People’s Repubic…” Realizing that he didn’t know what he was talking about, because Democracy means the good guys, we decided to explore this theory further.
After a visit to George Mason University in Washington DC, Maryland, we realized that there is even speculation among experts that the South fought alongside the U.S. in the Korean War, and that it would be inaccurate to suggest that the U.S. fought the war against “the Koreans”.
Major Sven Daniels, a graduate of the U.S. Military Academy and a war history professor at GMU explained that the war had Koreans on both sides, and that the North was actually aided by China. “We shouldn’t say we fought against the Koreans” he said, making the quotations gesture with his index and middle fingers, “It would be more correct to say that we fought the war against some Koreans, or more accurately, Communist forces that included the Chinese.”
A student aide appeared confused with that revelation, saying “Aren’t the Koreans basically Chinese? What difference does it make? They all look the same anyway.”
James Longley 82, of Newark, New York, who claims to be a Korean War veteran, corroborates this story, explaining that the southern government had actually raised an army and was fighting against the north. “When I try to tell my grandchildren about it though,” he explains, “they don’t seem to understand. They see pictures of Kim Jong-Il on TV and they ask me how the Dear Leader came to power if we won the Vietnam War. I want to explain that I fought in Korea, and that the war ended in a ceasefire, and the Vietnam War was later, and we didn’t win in Vietnam, but my head just begins to hurt,” he said. “The grandkids quickly lose interest anyway, going to watch their Saxophone in the City concert or that American Eye Doll whosiwhatsit,” he added.
There is also a high probability that most Korean immigrants to the U.S. came from South Korea, though no known study exists to prove that the self-reported statistics collected in the census are indeed accurate.
With the recent death of Dear Leader Kim, a blogger living in Korea, using the pen name “Yujinishuge” explained that several of his acquaintances and several other unknown people who have sent him e-mail messages have expressed their concern over his well being, given that the country could erupt in revolution at any given moment.
“I live in South Korea! It isn’t the same as North Korea! People can’t easily move between the two countries!” he exclaimed, appearing annoyed by the questions. He began foaming at the mouth when we asked him if his father had emigrated to the U.S. from North or South Korea. Later, his head exploded when asked if his last name, legally spelled “Whong” was Chinese. No charges were filed in the incident.
Okay joke over. I LIVE IN SOUTH KOREA AND IT IS A DIFFERENT COUNTRY THAN NORTH KOREA! Yes, I heard the news about Kim Jong Il, but honestly my life is almost exactly the same. I really wish some people would pick up a book every now and then, or at least watch M*A*S*H. I can’t believe the severe lack of news that reaches some people back home… you’d think they were living in North Korea or something.