Calling it Quits
I can’t take it anymore. Because of the actions of a commenter and frequent reader, going by the name of “Real Asian” I’ve decided to come clean because of the guilt I’ve been feeling. Hello readers. My name is Jared Willoughby and I come from Herndon, Virginia, USA. I’m actually not Korean, but I originally said that I was on this blog because I feel a strong connection with Korea. I really love Korean food and the culture, and I’ve been learning a lot about the culture since moving here one year ago. So this is who I really am.
If you want to know why I was saying I was a half-Korean, and talking about Korea all the time, it’s because I sometimes feel like I have such a strong connection to this mysterious country that I am even more Korean than most Korean people. I know this is true, because I also lived in Japan and Guam, as my father was in the Army when I was a kid. I felt like I already had a connection with Koreans before I moved here because I grew up around Japanese. Korea is so much like Japan, that I have a huge head start on integrating myself into Korean society due to my experiences in Japan. I definitely know that I am more Korean than the Korean Americans, as they have no connection to their homeland. Sometimes I feel hurt when they exclude me from their activities. They are such racists. I was taught to love everyone and treat them equally, and I have so many Korean friends in Korea, so why can’t Korean-Americans accept me as one of them. They could actually learn a thing or two from me.I’ve been studying Korean a lot and I think that Korea is a beautiful country with a very sad history. The culture is beautiful, and the people are so friendly to me all the time. Koreans have this feeling called jeong and han that ties them together as one people. I don’t think most foreigners could possibly comprehend these feelings like I do.
I also think that Korean women are much better wives and mates than their American counterparts, so that’s why I married one. I recommend Korean women to anyone looking for a real lovely mate. Most Korean women love to date foreign guys to escape the chauvinistic Korean men, so it’s actually pretty easy to get a date here.
I also have some news! My wife is pregnant! We are going to have a child in 6 months. I will teach him to equally identify with both of his cultures. He’s going to identify equally with both of them and I will make sure that he knows that he has the best of both worlds when he is growing up. Sometimes I wonder what Korean features he will inherit from his mother, and what normal ones he will inherit from me. Either way, I know he will be really handsome because all mixed kids end up looking super cute. I can’t wait!
But, since I’ve been outed by “Real Asian” and others, I feel like it’s time to put an end to this charade and stop pretending to be someone I am not. I am sorry if I hurt anyone by claiming to be a Korean when I am not. This will be my final post, and I am thankful to all the readers, and I am sorry to all the people who have defended me who I have deceived.
I have not learned to type in Korean yet, and every instance of Korean that I have used in this blog was copied off of other people’s blogs. So I tried to write a message in Korean above, but since I don’t actually read Korean, I don’t know if it turned out right. I think it is a good farewell message.
Edit: To those who still don’t get it, this was an April Fools’ Day prank.