Anyway this conversation did not go this way. After the inquiry into my Korean ability the lady said that in the past it would be totally okay to talk about foreigners right in front of them but now we have to be careful because they are more likely to understand. I said that this was probably true. Then she said that back in the day whenever a black person came along people would casually talk about that person freely using the Korean equivalent of Nigger.

I asked the lady not to use that word and she laughed saying it was okay because she wasn’t calling anyone that, she was talking about calling people that. She has a point, but she was talking about herself calling people that. Besides, any escape clause this presented was dashed when she said that it’s okay because there weren’t any around.

She then switched to English to my surprise, and explained that she had lived in LA for a long time and used to work in an hair product shop that was frequented by black women and she got in serious trouble when one lady tried to buy a product ad she wanted to suggest another that would be better for her hair type. She said that this other product was designed for Nigger hair. Since then she has known to watch what she says in front of certain people.

I would have thought that this would lead people to eliminate certain words from their vocabulary regardless of which company was present. But she’s old so I give her the benefit of the doubt.

At least she didn’t talk about Korea’s four seasons.

Anyway, here is a decent list of Korean songs from yesteryear that I think are awesome but will never get any play because they aren’t sung by plastic surgery idols.

You can check out the rest of the songs after the jump.

And just for good measure.. even though it’s not Korean…

Why do I know these old songs? My dad had an extensive LP collection that he used to listen to when I was a kid. Some of these were really old relics that he just happened upon in the local market. Others he actually sought out (Especially the last one, Ishida Ayumi was apparently REALLY popular in Korea as well as Japan. And Damn, that song is good.

Anyhow. How is that for a playlist? I think I’ll make this a recurring series where I find obscure songs and put them on my blog. A playlist of sorts. All three of you who still read might enjoy it. HAHA.

Shuri Castle in Okinawa, from http://oki-park.jp

Now I have heard everything. Japanese nationalists are so quick to demand that Japan has a rightful claim to the Diaoyutai, Dokdo, and the Northern Territories, but in this article a Japanese nationalist argues for Okinawan independence from Japan. I am certain other Honshu based nationalists (creatively called people on the “mainland” in the article) would foam at the mouth over the very idea, but I have to admit, the idea is ingenuous. And I can’t say I totally disagree with it.

Basically the article says that it would be a way to solve the problem of the disproportionate number of U.S. army bases in Okinawa. At the end of World War II, Okinawa was held by U.S. occupational forces, much like the rest of Japan. However, while Japanese self rule returned to the rest of Japan (minus the Northern Territories if you side with Japan in their dispute with Russia…) four years later, Okinawa remained under U.S. administration until 1972.

During this time, the U.S. was free to build airbases in Okinawa as it did not have to deal with the Japanese government as it would if it were building bases anywhere else in Japan. This is why there are so many bases there.

Now, there must be an ulterior motive if a nationalist is advocating Okinawan independence, because separation of Okinawa from Japan would give rise to the idea that the Okinawan people are a separate nation from Japanese, and would cause Japan to lose territory. So why do people who believe that WWII was justified, that colonial influence over Korea and Taiwan, and expansion of the empire into China were good things, advocate the independence of a territory that has been dominated by Japan for centuries?

Answer: To force the U.S. to abandon bases in Okinawa.

The idea is ingenious, as I have said before. The U.S. is able to maintain bases in Japan by a bilateral security treaty. If Okinawa is granted independence, then the treaty would not apply to Okinawa, thereby forcing the U.S. to either negotiate a separate treaty with Okinawa, leave, or be saddled with the illegal occupation of a foreign country.

But what of the huge loss to Japan that this would entail? The author proposes an economic union between Japan and Okinawa where citizens are allowed to travel, work, and live in either country with no restrictions. Basically Okinawa would still be a part of Japan in practice, if not on paper.

However, there are several problems with this plan that I don’t think the author thought through.

1. If the U.S. were forced out of Okinawa, it would not simply go home. The bases would be relocated to other parts of Japan or Asia. In the windfall, that would mean an increased troop presence, with more bases, in “mainland Japan” or in South Korea. I think that is the last thing that any Japanese nationalist wants.

2. The result of a split between Okinawa and Japan would leave Okinawa as a country that depends primarily on tourism, without any access to Japanese public funds collected through taxes. This would mean Okinawa needs to take care of its own defense, social welfare, education, infrastructure, and foreign affairs. This includes the very costly endeavor of getting other countries to recognize Okinawa, providing space for embassies in a place where land is a premium (though many countries already have consulates there), and acquiring land in other countries to house the Okinawan embassies. These developments would increase the tax burden on the Okinawan people, or on tourists. Both would result in the people of Okinawa becoming poorer or making Okinawa a less attractive tourist destination, or both. To compensate, Okinawa would have to develop the kinds of tourist activities that can be taxed heavily, but still cause many visitors, meaning Naha would become the Amsterdam of the East, with legalized drugs and prostitution. As people can move freely between Japan and Okinawa in this proposal, congratulations, now drugs can enter Japan much more easily. The Japanese government is known to jail people for years for simple marijuana use. Expect Japan’s jails to be full of drug users now that people can get it with relative ease from Okinawa.

3. What happens when China decides to conquer Okinawa? It’s certainly not likely, but suppose it happens. The U.S. might just leave Okinawa to its devices for the earlier burn, or demand concessions for helping Okinawa. Those concessions might include the right to keep bases in Okinawa, meaning all this headache would have been for nothing. Ah, but the Japanese SDF would bail Okinawa out, you say? Nope, that’s illegal. The Japanese SDF cannot send its military forces abroad in a combative role unless Japan itself is attacked. Whoops!

4. One of Japan’s territorial disputes is with China and Taiwan is over the Diaoyutai/Senkaku Islands. Not anymore, because now they would be Okinawa’s to argue over. China could easily refuse to recognize Okinawa over the problem unless Okinawa submits to China and renounces its claim to the Senkakus. Congratulations, nationalists, you have basically given the Senkakus to China, even though you are so vocal about them all the time.

5. What happens in the future if Okinawa disagrees with Japanese foreign policy (or worse) wants to become a province of China? This measure is completely shortsighted, and does not take into account that the Okinawans might not just go along with Japan on everything.

6. How does Okinawa determine who is and who is not a citizen? What of Okinawans who want to keep Japanese citizenship? What of those who were born in Okinawa but moved to Japan later?

I don’t think this was thought out very well.

Image from scatterbrain.co.kr

Since I lack originality I am going to write a post about the statistics on my blog just like Roboseyo and Ask a Korean, though I am not anywhere near either of their leagues yet.

Remember, that this blog was started in April 2010, and I was being paid to write one or more posts per day. Now I’m lucky if I get one per week. For this reason it is pretty obvious that an overwhelming majority of my content comes from 2010, which is why many 2010 posts rank extremely high in 2011 rankings.

Top 5 Most read 2011 posts on Eugene is Huge!

1. The Case for Korean Ownership of Dokdo
2. Almost all of TV is the imagined universe of an autistic child
3. The Creation of an Asian Major League (baseball)
4. Korean Flower Crab, Maryland Blue Crab, different, but both TASTY!!!!
5. My connection with the Redskins / The Native American Mascot Issue

1. The Dokdo post saw a huge jump in page views in just the past few days to become the most read article on the blog to date, as someone has taken the time to translate it over at gasengi.com. Curious netizens have flocked over in droves to see “the amazing foreign guy who knows more than Koreans about Dokdo.” They also enjoyed my lengthy debate with Ken. Amazingly, none have figured out that I am kind of a Korean-American, even though it says so in many different places on this blog. I don’t mind though, as long as my message about how to go about the Dokdo problem gets out.

2. I seem to have written a pioneer piece about the Tommy Westphall TV universe that got noted on reddit. I think I may be one of the few people to recognize that there are possibly multiple layers in the universe, with Newhart and Star Trek Deep Space Nine being obvious examples. Reddit people came over to check the article out in record numbers, and this post was the most widely read for a long time up until the Dokdo piece came out.

3. The baseball article is a retool from a post from about 10 years ago on livejournal. I advocated the merger of the Korean and Japanese baseball leagues as a way to stimulate the growth of baseball in Asia, and the possibility of one day having an actual world series against the MLB itself. This was posted in 2010, and I guess it got a lot of hits during the baseball season, but I suspect that people are coming to the article just to get a picture of the MLB logo.

4. An article from the early Seoul Searcher days that talked about crabs is popular for some reason. I think it is because there are no definitive pages on the Korean flower crab at all. This is the first thing that comes up on Google if you search for Korean flower crab, therefore, I am the internet authority on Korean flower crabs in the English Language.

5. A piece about the racial issue surrounding the Redskins and many other Native-American mascots that I was admittedly middle ground on seems to be popular among people who care about racial issues in sports, or just want to find a Redskins logo to copy. The piece is from early 2011.

And there you have it, in a Kblog, 2 of the top 5 posts have nothing to do with Korea, and the remaining three are about food, sports, and territorial issues. Perhaps people are right, that I might be better served sticking to an actual theme. I think having a theme is a way to get readers initially, but to keep them, they have to like what you write. I think though that if I want them to like what I write, I have to like what I write, which means I can’t have an actual theme.

What’s in store for 2012?
I don’t have many plans for this blog in 2012, but I have had a few informal discussions about a possible teamup with Roboseyo on a topic that we might have a different viewpoint on, though no specifics have been worked out. I’ll still probably use this space to complain, as I find it to be therapy, and if I find something mind boggling and nerdy, then I might write about it some more. I want to get big on the internetz, but I don’t want to set goals and try to become huge by a certain date. For now, this blog is just a hobby of mine. I’d like to thank all who are reading…

Art shamelessly lifted from Nerdesque

The post caused a debate with one Japanese person, Ken (who can be a very logical and effective debater when he doesn’t let his nationalism get the best of him). The debate raged on and on, and eventually someone caught wind of it and posted it on a Korean bbs, Gasengi.com. The response was rather limited as most of the people were unable to read what I wrote, but there were a lot of incoming inquiries from google translate. After a while the hits from Gasengi died down….

Until yesterday.

My site’s traffic saw a huge jump yesterday and I wanted to see why, so I checked where people were coming from. It was then that I noticed that someone named secret, on Gasengi took it upon himself to TRANSLATE MY ENTIRE BLOG POST… INCLUDING THE COMMENTS!

They’ve also published a picture of me there, and have to this extent not asceretained that I am of the persuasione of those not indivgenous to that which is localle amongst this doemain. The verbiation is cryptologically onsetted here because one protagoneist desires to as of yet assure the continued secrecey hence.

If you get it.. you get it. They could have figured it out easily by reading other posts.. but whatever, I want to keep it on the DEE ELLL for now. If you don’t get it. There are purposeful spelling mistakes there to inhibit easy translation, tho something tells me these people are smart and will figure it out anyway.

Well all I can say is that I am honored that I am receiving all this positive attention and I am glad that people on both sides of the argument are realizing that it is better to talk logically instead of using racism or nationalism to argue over something that can and should be solved through debate, and through my blog, these people have an avenue to interact with each other.

HOWEVER,

I want to reiterate again, that I don’t think it is right for people to use racial slurs, like “Japanese Monkey, Jap, Chotpali, Chinilpa, or even the suffix NOM” You may feel like it is okay to do that in your own language, but you never know who can read what you write. It makes the Korean side look weak when people do that. STOP.

I would also say to the Japanese side… you look exceedingly weak when you group your Takeshima argument with assertions of Korea’s attempts to steal the origin manga or karate or whatever from Japan, or even worse, try to explain that the colonial era was just and that Koreans wanted it. While it is true that we can say that the colonial era did plant the seeds of rapid Korean economic growth, it is not fair to say that Koreans ought to be thankful for this, as it was in place to serve the needs of Japanese, not Koreans. I have not read the Japanese nationalist boards, but I also think that I should say that it is important to remove any racial slurs that may be, or anything along the effect of “garlic smelling”, the term “Chosenjin” (without a “kita” in front of it) or any other language used in a derogatory way towards Koreans. Let’s talk about Dokdo or Takeshima here… not breed hate

I really hope that one day Koreans and Japanese can consider each other allies, friends, and brethren, not just on a personal level among specific individuals or on official diplomatic rhetoric, but the two societies as a whole. So much more is to be gained in this manner than to keep ripping scabs off of each other’s wounds.

But why am I talking about it in this blog?

I’ll tell you why. First of all, even though I don’t know anything about Dave, I’ve been in his exact situation, where I ordered something from a game company and didn’t get it in a timely fashion. Unfortunately this was before the proliferation of e-mail, so all of my correspondence happened over the phone or by fax. (This was the early 1990s. Yes, I know e-mail was around then, but I don’t think I got my first e-mail address until 1994 or 1995. I also didn’t use e-mail on a regular basis until late 1996, when I got a University of Maryland e-mail account.)

FF4, er, 2, er the one with Cecil in it

I wanted a game for the Super Nintendo, Final Fantasy II (actually IV, but in the U.S. we didn’t get 2 or 3, so the US title was II. Probably every other blog that ever mentions the FF series mentions this. If you don’t get it, don’t worry.) Well, this was some time after the game had actually been released. I had even played through it once when I borrowed it from my friend. I got so addicted to it, but as with all borrowed things, you must return them. So I decided to buy my own copy. After being driven to all the local toy stores by my mother (yes, I was not old enough to drive yet!) to look for it, we were unable to locate even one copy.

In retrospect it probably would have been smarter to call them all first, but that wasn’t how I rolled back then, because I was really shy. People who work at stores who would ask if they could help me.. that intimidated me. In fact, I didn’t realize this until now, I used to hate meeting or talking to people I didn’t already know… because we’d have to figure out stuff to talk about even if neither of us wanted to. I remember considering it a success once when I initiated small talk with a person on the train when I was 16, and had a whole 30 minute conversation. Man.. do I still feel like this? Who knows.. Anyway…

Distraught that I could not find my game, I was pleased to find that in one of my brother’s Electronic Gaming Monthly magazines was an ad for a small mail-order company that listed Final Fantasy II as one of the games it had for sale. I called them up to make sure they had it in stock, and they said that they did. So I handed several months worth of saved allowance to Mom, who wrote a check for the game, and I sent it off in the mail.

I’d bought stuff by mail-order before, so I knew that sometimes delivery can take a while. At the time it was standard to have to wait 6-8 weeks for delivery. I don’t think any company would ever be able to get away with that now, but back then, someone had to personally open and read all the order mail and file paper work with someone else who would personally take it somewhere else… and they probably wouldn’t process anything until the check cleared, etc… But I am a patient guy… so I waited. Within one or two weeks, the check was cleared, cashed, and sent back to my mom. I thought my game would be on the way in no time.

Well after what must have been longer than 12 weeks (I’m guessing I gave them an extra month, because I am a nice guy). I called the company again asking for any information relating to my game. The person who answered the phone was nice, and understood my problem, and told me that my game had been sent by the U.S. postal service, and that I should be getting it soon.

So I waited 2 more weeks, and nothing.

I decided to send a hand written letter with a photocopy of the check that they had cashed, the ad that I had used, which showed that they claimed to have the game, and a request to either refund my money or send me the game.

I got no response.

My genius older brother then had the genius idea of sending a fax to them. You see, back then, fax was the best way to get something important and time sensitive to someone. And usually people did not have fax machines in their houses. Only businesses had faxes. So if you had an important message to send, fax would get someone’s attention.

So I typed out a letter on my old apple II that “respectfully demanded” that the situation be resolved. I tried to be as polite as possible saying that I was willing to forgive everything if the game or a check for a refund was delivered to my house no later than 2 weeks from the date of the fax. I didn’t have anything to threaten the company with, but I did imply that I wouldn’t just go away. In retrospect, there really wasn’t anything I could do other than “call the Better Business Bureau” whatever that means.. Yes, I know what the Better Business Bureau is, but I don’t think I have ever seen any BBB blacklist or anything, nor have I ever heard of a case where someone went to the BBB because of their customer service complaint and had a swift resolution.

Well, after receiving the fax, the owner of the company took it upon himself to call my home and shout at me, telling me he was FURIOUS that I was “threatening him in the mail.” As a kid who had just entered my teens, and a shy one at that, his yelling and screaming actually did scare me. I told him that I was sorry (which I shouldn’t have) but I asked him when I could expect my game to arrive. He told me that it had been sent by “the USPS.” So I said, “So it’s coming by UPS?” and he said

“NO, SIR” (“Sir” said in a condescending and sarcastic way.) “The USPS, United States Postal Service.”

When I explained that another person had told me that weeks earlier and it hadn’t arrived, he checked his records which said that it had. I maintained that I hadn’t received it.

Here’s a funny part. He asked my name. I told him Eugene Whong, W-H-O-N-G. And he goes “oh, are you sure it’s not W-O-N-G?”

I know how to spell my name guy, come on! I was angry and frustrated at this point, but he puts me on hold.

Later, he is talking to me again, and he says that he had me confused with another customer, and now he sees who I am, and he assured me that I would get the game in a timely manner.

So this means that there was also a Eugene Wong who bought the same game from this company. Hey stranger mix-ups have happened.

He explained that it was a rare game because after the first release it sold quickly and they didn’t have any more in stock, so I would have to wait until they got their next shipment from the distributor.

At this point my mom decided to talk to the guy for me. She explained that the reason we had decided to use his company was because we had called in advance to make sure they had it in stock before placing the order. He was a lot nicer to my mom, and said he’d take care of the situation.

A month passed. At this point I had given up. My mom was really nice about it though, and agreed to buy me the game from another company from an ad placed in Nintendo Power… Nintendo of America themselves. Sometimes when there was excess product companies would sell it for a discount with special offers in Nintendo Power. I didn’t have to pay her twice for the game, even though she would be paying for it twice. We called Nintendo and ordered the game. Mom paid with a credit card, and the game came a week later. I quickly forgot about this other company.

In the end it turns out that that company went out of business, and I was listed as one of its creditors in its bankruptcy proceedings. I’m not sure, but there was a lot of paperwork and personal travel that might have had to occur in order to recoup the $60 or whatever I paid. I also interpreted the legalese to mean that I wouldn’t be able to get all $60, but an equivalent percentage of the cash after liquidation of the company’s assets. This was too much of a hassle, so I just decided to ignore the whole thing. I am sure that many other kids who they had ripped off probably also forgot about it. Which means this company was allowed to get away with it.

I don’t even remember the name of the company, but it was located in Schenectady, New York.

As you can tell, I never forgot what happened to me back then… so when I read the exchange between customer Dave, Ocean Marketting/Stratagy Prsident Paul, and Penny Arcade’s Gabe… I am laughing. I feel vindicated, even though I’m not Dave, and Paul isn’t the person who screwed me over so many years ago. But I still feel vindicated because…

Admit it, there's a little bit of this guy in all of us...

There is a little bit if that guy in a lot of us. Now, this might not even be what Dave is really like, but he’s a gamer. And yes, many gamers are nerds. Those who aren’t are closet nerds. Admit it! And even people who aren’t gamers probably feel like they are nerds if they know something about anything more than the average person does. If that thing just happens to be sports, then you’re a sports nerd, although for some reason, sports nerds get to shake off the nerd label somehow… even so, there’s a little nerd in all of us… and nerds were always bullied in our younger days.

So when we see one of our own trampled on by a bully, we love to see the bully get his comeuppance. We all somehow readily identify with the bullied nerd, that’s why characters like that are so popular. Hell, I’ll bet even bullies themselves felt like nerds when they were younger. Teenage years are awkward for everyone.

So.. as of this writing, I would like to say to Dave, you are a personal hero of mine, and to Gabe (Mike K, whatever) from Penny Arcade, thank you for taking action. To Paul of Ocean Stratagy, you’ve got my sympathy now, but you’ve got to change your ways. You’ve got to do the right thing BEFORE someone big and powerful compels you to. I hope you end up okay after all of this, and that you can find employment SOMEWHERE.

I don’t normally critique songs, I simply don’t listen to those that I don’t like, but this one is just bad. The singer is a good singer, and the song is arranged very well. I’m not certain that the singer wrote the lyrics, so perhaps I am not beefing with him, but for whoever wrote the song… I’m glad you have a hit. Please remember though that those who will want to buy this song are idiots. Find out why I don’t like it after the jump.

Okay, first of all, this is a breakup song. Now, I have nothing against breakup songs especially when they make sense. Generally break up songs fall into four categories.
1. I dumped you and I am happy about it.
2. We mutually broke up because of something not related to cheating but we both want to be together still.
3. You dumped me and I am sad about it, please don’t leave me, my life will never be the same without you!
4. You dumped me but I’ll be okay and you won’t.

This song does not fit into any of these categories. Now that in itself isn’t a problem, but with a breakup song, we have to know where the singer is coming from. What happened? Was he dumped? Did he dump her? How does he feel about it? Once we know that story we can connect with the singer. The story in this song is very very elusive.

Now here are the lyrics to the song. I will analyze them

My, how things change

has gone away, And oh, how I’m over you

Not a bad start. Though usually if you say you thought it would last for eternity, then that means you were dumped recently. But if you say you’re over someone, then it means you were dumped a long time ago, unless you add an “already” in there somewhere. There is no possibility that he did the dumping because to get over someone you have to be dumped. If you’re dumping, then you’re usually over the person already.

The plans we had of a little family,
those beautiful children will never be
and it bothers me, just a little bit, baby

It bothers you? So you’re not over her, you liar!

I hope that you’ll have kids, I really do
They’re probably gonna look just like you
But they won’t look anything like me

I hope you have kids? WTF are you talking about man? You’re concerned for her reproductive health? No, this just sounds creepy! It should be rewritten as “I can’t bear to think that you will have kids with someone who isn’t me, but I will say that I hope you have kids because I want to appear nice, even though I am jealous of the person you are with now and I am pathetic.”

Don’t miss your company, so please don’t call
Don’t miss the sex, no, not at all
And we’re not gonna get back together

This is the lyric that made me want to write the post. Maybe this shows that I am from another generation or that I am old, but I like it better when at least something is left to the imagination. It’s a lot better to imply rather than state it blatantly.. such as “Don’t miss the love we made” or “Don’t miss that ooooh…” or “Don’t miss your touch..” etc And if he’s singing about it, then obviously he misses it.

But in a word that’s upside down,
people running around

respect and honesty to all of them
I’m just afraid I won’t meet someone like you again

Okay, you’re obviously NOT over her. You miss your relationship with her and you want her to be with you again.

Now I hear you’re gonna be a mother well, good for you
I wish you all the best, I really do
But they won’t look anything like me

that they won’t look anything like you

Well it appears she is totally over you, man. She’s moved on obviously. Grow a pair and take it in stride. When your ex finds someone and you still have feelings for her, you need to just take it like a man.

I don’t wanna get back together baby, don’t wanna talk it out
Really baby, we ain’t got nothing to talk about

Then WHY WHY WHY are you singing this song to her?

This song is sending mixed signals and you have to fit it into a new category:

I got dumped by you, and I am bitter that you found someone else, but I want to assure you that I am over you even though I really am not, so I wrote this song to annoy you with memories of your past to show you that I want you to think I moved on even though I have not, and it is obvious that you have.

It’s a song by that person you broke up with who likes to constantly remind you that you once had a relationship and is trying to get pity from you long after the breakup. It makes the singer look really pathetic. I have no problems with people breaking up and remaining friends, it happens all the time, but being all sappy to appeal to someone’s sense of pity is weak.

Your kids won’t look like me oh boo hoo, but I don’t want to meet you again because I’m fine (even though the previous part of the sentence shows clearly that I do!)

The teenagers who like this song need to listen to some better break up songs

Image apparently shows the stark contrast between North and South Korea, though reports that north is in fact up on this map could not be verified.

Information indicating that Korea is a divided country has surfaced recently among the intelligence community. There are even rumors that South Korea, also known as the “Republic of Korea,” is actually run by a government that is almost totally separate from the government formerly headed by the late Kim Jong-Il. Apparently two governments resulted from the cold war division of the peninsula, with the southern government actually an ally of the United States.

Jesus Ramon Franco de Rodriguez, Director of the Spain’s CNI (Centro Nacional de Inteligencia) elaborated when questioned about the subject pointing out that the official name of North Korea is the “Ray Poob Lick Aw Pope Ooh Lar Day Moh Kra Tea Caw  Day Core Ay Ah.” But our Spanish translator told us that this is untranslatable gibberish. The director then switched into English, saying “They call it the DPRK… the Democratic… uh.. People’s Repubic…” Realizing that he didn’t know what he was talking about, because Democracy  means the good guys, we decided to explore this theory further.

After a visit to George Mason University in Washington DC, Maryland, we realized that there is even speculation among experts that the South fought alongside the U.S. in the Korean War, and that it would be inaccurate to suggest that the U.S. fought the war against “the Koreans”.

Major Sven Daniels, a graduate of the U.S. Military Academy and a war history professor at GMU explained that the war had Koreans on both sides, and that the North was actually aided by China. “We shouldn’t say we fought against the Koreans” he said, making the quotations gesture with his index and middle fingers, “It would be more correct to say that we fought the war against some Koreans, or more accurately, Communist forces that included the Chinese.”

A student aide appeared confused with that revelation, saying “Aren’t the Koreans basically Chinese? What difference does it make? They all look the same anyway.”

James Longley 82, of Newark, New York, who claims to be a  Korean War veteran, corroborates this story, explaining that the southern government had actually raised an army and was fighting against the north. “When I try to tell my grandchildren about it though,” he explains, “they don’t seem to understand. They see pictures of Kim Jong-Il on TV and they ask me how the Dear Leader came to power if we won the Vietnam War. I want to explain that I fought in Korea, and that the war ended in a ceasefire, and the Vietnam War was later, and we didn’t win in Vietnam, but my head just begins to hurt,” he said. “The grandkids quickly lose interest anyway, going to watch their Saxophone in the City concert or that American Eye Doll whosiwhatsit,” he added.

There is also a high probability that most Korean immigrants to the U.S. came from South Korea, though no known study exists to prove that the self-reported statistics collected in the census are indeed accurate.

With the recent death of Dear Leader Kim, a blogger living in Korea, using the pen name “Yujinishuge” explained that several of his acquaintances and several other unknown people who have sent him e-mail messages have expressed their concern over his well being, given that the country could erupt in revolution at any given moment.

“I live in South Korea! It isn’t the same as North Korea! People can’t easily move between the two countries!” he exclaimed, appearing annoyed by the questions. He began foaming at the mouth when we asked him if his father had emigrated to the U.S. from North or South Korea. Later, his head exploded when asked if his last name, legally spelled “Whong” was Chinese. No charges were filed in the incident.

Okay joke over.  I LIVE IN SOUTH KOREA AND IT IS A DIFFERENT COUNTRY THAN NORTH KOREA! Yes, I heard the news about Kim Jong Il, but honestly my life is almost exactly the same. I really wish some people would pick up a book every now and then, or at least watch M*A*S*H. I can’t believe the severe lack of news that reaches some people back home… you’d think they were living in North Korea or something.

I am now officially rooting for you, Mr. Noid.

I’m hungry and very very angry.

I like Pizza, you can see another article about that. Well recently I’ve been using Domino’s Pizza Korea’s website to order pizza because they give you a discount if you order online. Also they finally have allowed you to get a thin crust and choose your own toppings. Well between the last time I ordered a pizza from them and today something on the website changed. Let me tell you how my order went, complete with time.

OO:OO:OO Decide I want to eat pizza
00:00:05 Log onto site…
00:00:10 begin clicking the stuff I want.
00:03:00 finish clicking stuff I want… spent a minute debating on whether to get black olives or not.
00:03:30 finished typing in my address, and indicated that I wanted to pay by credit card.

So far, everything looks good, right? Well more after the jump.

Well, if you want to use your credit card online in America, all you have to do is put the number in and click ok. In Korea, this is not the case, you need some security system to verify that you are who you are. This originally was not a problem, because I’ve been using this site since 2006, and have already registered for the security program, so it should only add 1 minute to the order time at most.

00:04:00 Realized that Domino’s upgraded to a newer security system and I had to download a new plugin.
00:10:00 Finished installing the new system and began the registration process.
00:20:00 Entered my address, phone number, alien registration card, e-mail address, made sure the spelling of my name was correct, and had the security company message a password to my cell phone so that I can further verify who I am. If I were in America, the pizza would most likely have arrived by now.
00:25:00 After several unsuccesful attempts, the security system says it recognizes a foreign alien registration number and that I should call the help center to complete the registration process.
00:26:00 Called the number, got a robot telling me that I need to wait for the next available operator. I’d be on my second piece if this were America.
00:31:00 Lady answers the phone and asks how I can help her. I tell her that I want to register for the security system and that I am not a citizen of Korea. She asks my name, my Alien Registration Number. I give it to her and she says that it is fake. I ask her how she spelled my name, and she said in hangul.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am NOT A CITIZEN OF KOREA SO I CAN’T HAVE AN ID CARD WITH MY NAME IN HANGUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I give her the English spelling. I’d have eaten my 3rd slice and be debating whether or not to eat the fourth.
00:35:00 After she finally enters my name in correctly (I have to tell her a million times that it’s WHONG EUGENE WILLIAM and she keeps repeating W-I-L-I-L-A-M and I say no, W-I-L-L-I-A-M and she says W-I-L-I-A-M and I say no….. this goes on for about 3 minutes until she finally gets it right.

00:41:00 She tells me that I can’t register for the system easily because it is a foreign registration number, so if I could fax her a copy of my card and passport then she can verify it and then give me a password to log on. I told her I don’t have a fax machine and she said, maybe your work place has one, which it does, but I’m not at work… I am at home, and I WANT MY FRICKIN PIZZA!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!

I hang up on her and realize that if I were in America or any other country in the world I would only have had to enter my credit card number and 20 seconds later my pizza would be paid for and on its way.
00:42:00 I begin to write this post realizing that I will be starving by the time I am finished with this post.

1:00:00 Finish writing… realize that I should have made other dinner plans before writing. Am actually starving!